Spontaneous Conformity

We have all been there. There is this person who just seems to light up your life when you see him or her. You feel like you’re on top of the world, yet you don’t know what to say or how to act when this amazing and attractive person is near you, let alone consuming your mind. It’s one of life’s biggest paradoxes. You get butterflies in your stomach, you stop eating and you lose weight, you get nervous and sweat even at the thought of this person, yet you could move a fallen red oak tree with your bear hands if it meant being with him or her. In the words of an old song, “It sounds like love’s got a hold on you; no doubt love’s got a hold on you.”

This article seeks to bring up the point of instantly agreeing with someone about things that you like or don’t like, agreeing with incomplete truth and the consequences of such an agreement. For instance, if you and the lady you are with are having a deep analytical conversation about Oreo cookies, and she reveals to you that they are one of the most amazing things that were ever smashed between her teeth, when all of the sudden you reply with something that seems to her as your mutual passion for Oreo cookies.

The problem arrives when she goes to your house and sees the posters in your living room of peanut butter cookies all over them, 5 jars of peanut butter in your cupboards and shrines to peanut butter cookies, she will question your passion and in your nervousness, you will reveal to her the truth... which is that you aren’t nearly as passionate about Oreos as she is. This might seem like a silly scenario, but it unveils something that often hinders growth in relationships: a lack of personal integrity.

Say there was this guy who was head over heels for this girl and they went through the Oreo experience explained above. To her, this experience throws a red flag in the air. Even though this might seem like a small setback, it is still a red flag in her mind. Especially in the early stages of a relationship, red flags are not easily forgotten. In other words, even the smallest red flag is still a red flag. No matter what you believe, red flags are always in the back of someone’s mind. It seems that the size of the red flag or the amount of them is what destroys further growth of a potential relationship. Therefore, in this article, the desire is to explain how to eliminate at least one of those red flags.

As alluded to above, personal integrity is something that strengthens a good relationship, and it also promotes oneself. It strengthens a good relationship because it develops trust. It seems that simply not being dishonest is a characteristic of integrity, but that is only a portion of it. Integrity is more than that. It can be defined as a firm adherence to morals and unchanging honesty. In other words, a man of integrity will understand what he likes (such as Oreos or peanut butter cookies) and not change his preferences due to what he perceives as the best way to cause healthy growth in a relationship he seeks to pursue. He will simply stick to his guns.

How does being a person of integrity promote oneself in the arena of dating or availability? People are genuinely attracted to other people they can trust. Think about it... what is the one thing that makes your best friend, your best friend? Some might say shared experiences, but that just boils down to trust! Through shared experiences, you have learned to trust your best friend. If you were to hear about something you told your best friend in secret from someone else, how would that make you feel about him or her? Some might say that a best friend is a loyal friend. What makes them “loyal?” Perhaps it is simply because they are trustworthy. It seems that a best friend should say or imply something like, “I will be there for you whenever you need me.” If the person was never there when you needed him or her even after mentioning that they would always be there, would you forever call them your best friend? I certainly hope not. Just like a person can sense the integrity of a person in a best friend relationship, it is just as easy for someone to sense the integrity of a person in a dating relationship.

In Luke chapter 16, starting at verse one, Jesus was telling a parable to His disciples. He explained that there was a manager who was squandering his master’s possessions, treating the possessions as his own, and so the manager was called in by his master and told that he could no longer be a manager. The manager’s reaction, which was to make friends with his master’s debtors by lessening the debts they owed, ultimately caused his master to commend him. In verse ten, Jesus says, “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much” (NIV Luke 16:10). For the purposes of this article, the emphasis is found in the second half of this verse: “Whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.”

This is the pinnacle of a lack of integrity in a relationship. This is what people sense. If you are dishonest in small things such as what cookies you like, this dishonesty will reflect your wholeness of personal integrity and thus repel that which you are trying to gain. In other words, it will work against you. Therefore, work on being a man or woman of high moral standards; be unchanging in the small things as you would the big things in life.

Jesus explains that in general, people who have, more will be given to them; and those who do not have, even what little they have will be taken away (Luke 19:26). These verses are psychological epitomes of integrity. An implication taken from them is that trustworthy people are very recognizable and will constantly acquire the opportunity to use this “trustworthiness” they possess. With all of this in mind, I urge the reader to take this information seriously; think about it and remember it often. Allow God to bring blessing in your life by obeying Him and being a person of unimpaired integrity.

Written by Nace Howell through the grace of the Lord Jesus

Comments

The Evidence and Power of Testimony: The Apostolic Witness

What to say to People who Demand more Evidence for God. Why is there something rather than nothing? Glacier National Park. © Nace Howell, 2018. The question is, how much evidence do you require? Would Jesus have to come back and slap you in the face with evidence that He is God? It seems to me that there is a line we must draw. We do this in all other areas of our lives, so why would we treat theism any different? When a court convicts, they do so “beyond a reasonable doubt.” I would like to take a few moments to explore this a bit. But before we get to that, I want to pose a question, which is… why are you the standard? What makes you think He has to prove His existence to everyone individually? He already created the universe from nothing. In the beginning, there was a big bang. Seriously… do you believe your mom when she tells you a story about her day? Did you believe the reports of 9/11 when they were happening? Do you accept the testimony of anything you hear on social ...

Defending Christianity against Jehovah’s Witnesses

Defending Christianity against Jehovah’s Witnesses Using much of their “bible” to refute them “But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect ” (NIV 1 Peter 3:15). In other words, LOVE THEM . Jehovah’s Witnesses Biblical Truths Jehovah’s Witnesses do not believe in the Trinity. J.Ws. believe that Jesus was a “little god” (lower case g). J.Ws. believe in a different “ Jesus ” because of the NWT accounts. J.Ws. call themselves “Christians.” J.Ws. believe Jesus is not to be worshiped. J.Ws. believe that Jesus was once, and is again, Michael the archangel. Genesis 1:26 says, “Let Us crea...

Defending Christianity against Mormonism

“But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect ” (NIV 1 Peter 3:15). In other words, LOVE THEM . Mormons Biblical Truths Mormons are monolaters, meaning, they believe in many gods, yet worship only one. LDS believe that “As man is, God once was; and as God is, man may become.” LDS do not believe in Hell. LDS believe God is flesh and bones. LDS believe in baptism for the dead. LDS believe Jesus and Satan are created brothers. L...

An Overlooked Argument Against the Book of Mormon

The Book of Mormon is written in a style of language that was not used by anyone at the time that it was written and published. This style of English is called Early Modern English . This fact is an anachronism that I find to be severely overlooked by those who seek the truth about the Book of Mormon. Many Mormons will instantly write this objection off concerning the veracity of the Book of Mormon, even to the point of saying that such an objection is lazy and pitiful, while not giving any rebuttals worth their weight. I recently insinuated the absurdity of the Book of Mormon by asking the question, “Why was the Book of Mormon translated into Early Modern English?” I’m saying that it is absurd that the BoM uses an out-of-date language. A Mormon replied to me that the Bible has equal absurdities. He said, “Why is [The BoM translation into Early Modern English] absurd? Is it absurd that God uses a donkey to speak to Balaam in Numbers 22?” First, this is a tu quo...

The God of the Killdozer Operator, Marvin Heemeyer

While working toward becoming an apologist and a pastor, I was a heavy equipment operator. I have over 15 years’ experience in the field, focusing on hydrological restorations (stream bank and river restoration and water dam removals) and site development for building pads (ranging from houses to one million + sq. ft. warehouses). I say this because I want to show where the heart for writing article this came about. Marvin Heemeyer purchased a bulldozer from an auction which was a Komatsu D355A with an operating weight of 97,907 lbs. (this does not include the weight of Heemeyer’s fabricated addition). In the picture above, I am operating a Komatsu D155AX which has an operating weight of 89,300 lbs. (If I remember correctly, we were developing the site for a 550,000 sq. ft. warehouse building pad). Heemeyer then went on a rampage in his armored bulldozer in Granby, CO. I don’t want to go into great details about what led up to Heemeyer doing what he did, nor do I want to go into great ...

Joseph Smith had the same Demon that influenced Muhammad

What does Islam have in common with Mormonism? Seriously, the similarities are uncanny. Like human beings, demons are creatures of habit . The Bible does not tell us much about them, but from what it does tell us, we can learn a lot. Jesus reveals to us some things about their behavior: When the unclean spirit has gone out of a person, it passes through waterless places seeking rest, but finds none. Then it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when it comes, it finds the house empty, swept, and put in order. Then it goes and brings with it seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they enter and dwell there, and the last state of that person is worse than the first… [1] Jesus clearly knows that demons have typical behaviors. He has seen it many times before. He lets us know that a typical behavior for a demon is that home is where the heart is . When your house crumbles to the ground, you move to a new one. Likewise, when a person dies, the demon ...

How to Show a Jehovah's Witness That Jesus Was—and Still Should Be—Worshiped

Jehovah’s Witnesses (JW’s) have a severe problem with the question of worship when it comes to Jesus. They say that Jesus is not God, and that because of the First of the Ten Commandments , we should not worship Him. Is this correct thinking biblically speaking? In this article, I will argue why it is not correct, and I will do this from the New World Translation (NWT) which is the Jehovah’s Witness corrupted version of the Bible . Allow me to briefly say here that they believe that Jesus is a “lower case g” god, which immediately has scriptural issues in their own translation with the First of the Ten Commandments, namely that they would have “other gods besides me” (NWT of the First of the Ten Commandments). First, since I have argued in multiple places concerning John 1:1 that Jesus is God, which implies our worship of Him, I will direct you to those articles HERE , HERE , and HERE . Moving forward, I want to look at three specific pri...

Using Guilt to Guide to the Truth

While taking a cultural apologetics class in my doctorate, I rambled along in a 30-page paper and in it, I wrote that, “I define religion as an anthropological system consisting of worship which is often filled with specific sacred rituals that seeks to appease or eradicate guilt.” My professor red-penned this and said that I am not yet in an authoritative position to make such definitions. But I was never asked how I came up with such a definition. The thing is, working on my second post-graduate degree in apologetics, studying many other religions on a deeper level was inevitable, and by this, I noticed a pattern in all of them which was the fact that they all seek to appease or eradicate guilt, including Buddhism , even though many adherents of Buddhism claim that it is not a religion . The point is that all religions seek to eradicate guilt on some level, because guilt crosses all cultures and times, to all people . Guilt transcends all people. The ...

The Jehovah's Witness Training Videos

How your conversation will likely go with a Jehovah's Witness. The Videos… they have all seen them. The videos that they have seen are like when you start a new job and watch these old, poor quality, cheesy DVDs (or VHS) about how your job is performed safely. You’re sitting in the room alone for three hours and fifteen minutes, watching everyone in their PPE do the wrong things and then the right things, so you can know the difference between them. Anyone who has worked at Wal-Mart, or a factory, or is a heavy equipment operator knows exactly what “the videos” look and sound like. Jehovah’s Witnesses (Hereafter, JWs) must go through a similar situation because their responses to my questions and challenges is exactly the same, often verbatim, every time. I have to assume that they have all seen the same video. I have not seen the videos myself, but I definitely seem to have a cumulative case for believing that they exist. Granted, this group of JWs I'm referring to are the ...

Baptism is Not Necessary for Salvation According to the Early Church

Let’s dive right in. The Bible says in Acts 2:37-41, Now when they heard this they were cut to the heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, “Brothers, what shall we do?” And Peter said to them, “Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. For the promise is for you and for your children and for all who are far off, everyone whom the Lord our God calls to himself.” And with many other words he bore witness and continued to exhort them, saying, “Save yourselves from this crooked generation.” So those who received his word were baptized, and there were added that day about three thousand souls. The phrase in Acts 2:38 that reads, “for the forgiveness of your sins” modifies the word repentance, not the word baptism. See more about this Here . What is interesting is that those who translate the above verse as meaning that baptism is a requ...

Apologetics and Evidence

Search This Blog